


When You Wish Upon A Star

by Topographical_Map_Of_Utah



Series: Along Came Baby [18]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Because of Reasons, Bickering, But The Kind That Actually Happens, Character Death In Dream, Christmas Crack, Domestic Bliss, Finn is confused, Finn-centric, Is That What You'd Call It IDK, It's A Wonderful Life AU, M/M, Modern AU, Mpreg, Nightmares, Sickfic, Trans Poe Dameron, au in an au, domestic AU, like an old married couple, lol no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah/pseuds/Topographical_Map_Of_Utah
Summary: Shit gets fucking weird





	

"Tummy." Aiden whimpered, squeezing his arms across the front of his baby blue pyjamas. "Hurts. Bad."

"I know, buddy. But if you don't take your medicine you won't feel better. Now just sit still, would you?" Finn coaxed for what had to be the twelfth time. Aiden just shook his head and stuck out his tongue, barricading himself in the corner with his oversized teddy bear. Finn sighed and put down the cough syrup. He had already gone through this with Shara, but Poe seemed to have passed on the Dameron obstinacy to both kids. Maybe the next one would be laid-back, Finn hoped as he tried to drag Aiden out from under the bed. Third time's the charm, after all.  

When Finn finally got Aiden into bed he wiped the snot off of his shoulder and slumped against the door with a sniffle. He could really do with a hug, but Poe was in a mood and Shara had the flu, which Finn blamed on Poe and which Poe blamed on Finn. In truth they were probably both to blame for letting the kid stay out in the snow for so long, but try getting two stubborn people to split accountability.

That wasn't even the end of it. Finn had nearly chopped off his finger while making dinner, gotten chewed out by the captain for getting himself hurt during training, and now his head was pounding something awful. Sighing, he staggered into the living room, where Poe was curled up on the couch with about eight pillows. He was scowling down at his protruding belly, poking and prodding with a sour look on his face. Looks like he hadn't gotten over his bad mood yet. It would pass, like it always did, but Finn couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Did you check Shara's homework?" Finn yawned. Poe threw a pillow at him and crossed his arms tight over his chest, his scowl getting deeper. Wrong question, apparently.

"I thought you did. I did it last week." Poe argued.

"C'mon, Poe. I just got back from work. I'm exhausted..." 

"And I'm not? The parasite was kicking all day. And I had work too, y'know. You try teaching when your insides are trying to become your outsides." Poe uncrossed his arms, scowling when they came away wet. He looked down at the two dark patches on his chest and groaned. "Goddammit."

"Stick a towel down your shirt." Finn suggested. "And don't cuss." The words slipped out before Finn had a chance to think them through. If he could, he would take them back. Bit late for that. The lines on Poe's forehead deepened and he shot Finn a dirty look. 

"Fuck off." he snapped. "I had a fucked up day and you're just making it even fucking worse, y'know that? Why the fuck can't you just-"

"Alright, alright. I'm fucking off. Happy?" Finn threw his hands up in the air and stormed over to the bedroom, grumbling under his breath. This was just the perfect end to the perfect day, really. After debating whether or not he could get away with slamming the door Finn eased it shut and curled up on top of the bed. He kept his shoes on to annoy Poe when he came in, though. They were inside shoes, but it felt good to rebel a little bit.

Shara was coughing, Aiden was crying, the bandage on his arm itched and his head was throbbing even worse now. Feeling kind of ridiculous, Finn buried his face in the one pillow Poe had left on the bed and let a couple tears leak out of the corners of his eyes. Maybe he was being overdramatic, but it couldn't be helped.

Before he fell asleep a thought popped up in the back of his mind, something silly and immature that he'd definitely be embarrassed by later, but decided to indulge in for just a little bit. What was the harm in that? Finn groaned into his pillow, praying that his headache would go away, and wishing that he had never been born.

 

\------------

 

Finn woke up with a jolt, bare wood hard on his arm. He must have fallen out of bed again. Wondering why he bothered, Finn groped around in the dark for the lamp or nightstand, but he came up with nothing, for some reason. Horror thrilled down his spine when he realised the room was empty, windows covered and a bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. The floor creaked as Finn got to his feet and made his way to the front room. The place was set up like their apartment, but it was stripped and bare, as if there wasn't a family of four and a half living in it. Where the hell was everybody?

Finn took a shaky breath and steadied himself against the doorway, trying to get a grip as his heart thudded and sweat trickled down his forehead. No, this couldn't be right. Shara had had her homework spread out on the coffee table, and Aiden had left his teddy bear lying on the kitchen counter. They must have been robbed, that's it. Some real thorough robbers, too. They had stolen the paint off of the walls, somehow. Finn shook his head and clenched his fists. He really must have ticked off Poe for him to pull a prank like this.

"This isn't funny, Poe." he called out. For a moment his voice echoed in the stale air, then it shivered and died on the plaster walls. "Shara? Aiden? Rey? You're probably in on this. I'm serious, guys. C'mon out. I'm not mad. I swear I'm not mad." When nobody answered him Finn slumped back against the wall and let his knees buckle, curling up on the floor with his face in his arms. Okay, now he really needed a hug.

"I suppose you're wondering what has happened." Somebody said after awhile. Finn blinked and looked up, trying to wipe the tears from his cheeks. He didn't even have the energy to be surprised when he was met with the sight of an old guy standing in the middle of his living room, hands clasped under heavy wool sleeves and a patient look on his bearded face. "Finn, was it? They call me Ben. Ben Kenobi."

"Why the fuck are you wearing a bathrobe?" Finn blurted out. That may have sounded stupid, but it was ultimately better than his first thought, which had been _Holy shit I've been abducted by Santa Claus_. He got to his feet and stalked towards Kenobi, who didn't even flinch. "Where the hell am I? What did you do to my kids?"

"You don't hide from confrontation, do you?" Kenobi realised. "Before you say anything else, I propose a walk. Fresh air would do you good."  

"And why the hell should I listen to you?" Finn demanded. Kenobi chuckled, of all things. That wasn't the response Finn had expected.

"No wonder Rey's father likes you. The two of you are more similar than you know. Have you stopped calling him Solo, yet?"

"Wait, how did you know..." 

"It doesn't matter. But I do think that inexplicable omnipotence is reason enough for you to listen to what I have to say." Kenobi hummed on his way out the door. Finn screwed up his face and begrudgingly fell into step behind him. At least he had fallen asleep in shoes before being Twilight Zoned to this hellscape. When they got into the elevator Finn leaned against the wall and scowled at Kenobi, that calm look on his face just irking Finn even more.

"Alright, Kenobi, I'm listening. Tell me whose great idea this was."

"Yours." Kenobi answered, voice as calm as ever. Finn screwed up his face and Kenobi tapped a flickering floor button. "Don't you remember the wish you made last night?"

"I..." Finn blinked, putting two and two together. "Wait. You...So you're telling me that I don't exist."

"Essentially." Kenobi confirmed as the elevator doors slid open. At some point his robes had melted into street clothes, a thick wool coat and beige trousers. Okay, maybe this guy wasn't completely full of shit after all. Finn just might refrain from decking him. For now, at least.

One of Finn's neighbours eyed him and Kenobi curiously as they walked down the hall. Finn bit back a hello, kept his eyes glued to the fading carpet. Right, Mrs. Carver didn't know who the hell he was. That was weird, considering she took care of Shara and Aiden sometimes, let them play the big scratched piano in her frilly living room. Nice woman. About two tabbies away from being a crazy cat lady, though.

Outside, Finn shivered, taking a look up and down the street. "Things don't seem too bad, without me around." he realised as they crunched down the sidewalk. "Expected zombies, at least..."

"In a city like this, the changes would be subtle, but there nonetheless. Take her, for example." Kenobi nodded at a lady standing across the street from them, the collar of her knit sweater pulled up over her red nose. "You saved her sister from a car fire two years ago. She had just graduated."

"Huh." Finn's mouth went dry, looking at the woman. He wanted to apologise, but he wasn't sure how to say sorry for never being born. This sure was a fucked up dream, but he was pretty sure he got the gist of it. All lives are interconnected, his existence mattered, yada-yada. That meant he had learnt his lesson, right?

"Look, Kenobi-" But the old man was gone, leaving Finn all by himself on the curb, underdressed and shivering. Finn sniffled, struck suddenly by the fact that he was completely alone on this one. That hadn't been the case for a long while, and Finn wasn't quite sure what to do about it. He wanted his kids, he wanted his husband. Really, he just wanted to go home. The building behind him wasn't home, that's for sure. In fact, the place seemed haunted, all of a sudden. Finn stumbled back and broke into a run. He had to get out of here, had to find someplace safe. The question was whether or not a place like that existed here.

Everything looked exactly the same, but Finn knew something was just a little bit off, slightly out of alignment. After running for what felt like a long time he crumpled on the steps of the public library and squeezed his hands together. Not quite enough blood was getting to his fingers and his knees were knocking together. He could hear the harsh gasp of his breathing, hanging white in the air. Bad, this was bad. Panicking would do him no good, but he couldn't seem to stop it. Fuck, he thought he had dealt with this anxiety bullshit years ago, why the hell was it coming back _now_ , of all times...

"You feeling alright, son?" Suddenly there was a friendly hand on his shoulder, warm and familiar. "Would you like me to call someone?" 

"I..." Finn looked up and nearly sobbed in relief. "Oh, Leia, am I glad to see you. You won't believe-" When Leia recoiled he snapped his mouth shut and heat crept into his cheeks. How could that have slipped his mind? To her he was just some random guy off of the street having a breakdown. It was weird, knowing her so well when she couldn't name him if he paid her. How to play this off?

"Oh, right. Sorry, I'm a friend of Rey's. She talked about you and Ben and Han all the time."

"She did?" Leia blinked, her lips tightening around the edges. "It must have been a long time since you spoke to her, then." she said carefully. "Rey's been missing in action for the past year. Syria." 

"Oh." Finn's heart sank down into his belly and he tried to swallow. "That's...oh. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Leia assured him. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself and cleared her throat, looking at Finn's bare arms with thinly veiled concern. "Well, it was nice meeting you...Hold on, I don't think I caught your name."

"Finn." He watched her face, praying for a flicker of recognition, the faintest assurance that he existed, somewhere. Instead she just nodded and stepped back, ready for this conversation to be over.

"Bye then, Finn. You should go and get yourself warmed up, alright? I don't..." Leia swallowed and Finn noticed her knuckles going white on the collar of her coat. "I'd hate for you to catch anything." 

"Yeah. I'll do that. Okay. Yeah. See you." Finn slumped down onto the step and watched Leia walk away. She wasn't wearing a wedding ring, he noticed. Wonder why that was.

"Would you like to know?" Finn jumped and nearly punched Kenobi in the face as he turned. The crazy old man had popped up beside him, staring off into the middle distance as he spoke. "It was a shame, really. Han was never the same after Ben died."

"A hello would be nice." Finn grumbled, scrambling to his feet and following Kenobi down the street. Then the words sank in and he blinked. "Wait, Ben died?"

"Yes. Poe and Ben were supposed to enlist at the same time. On one of the missions they should have flown together, Poe wasn't there to cover him. The pilot Ben flew with instead just wasn't fast enough." Kenobi shook his head ever so slightly, feathery hair fluttering in the breeze. "After her brother's death and the divorce, Rey slipped away from her parents, one could say. Instead of going to university she joined the army straight away."

"Okay." Finn shook his head as the words rattled in his brain. "Well, no, not okay. Very not okay. But what does all that have to do with me?"

"You remember how you and Poe met, do you not? You made quite an impression on the young man." 

"But he saved me, not the other way around." Finn protested. He still remembered being yanked out of the street before a truck could run him over in third grade, seeing Poe for the first time. Hard to forget meeting the love of your life, even if it took a little over a decade for the ball to get rolling.

"That is only from your point of view. He had run away from home, remember? Stopping you from doing the same thing was what convinced him to stay." 

"Well that's just great." Finn kicked a hunk of ice across the street and scowled. So Poe had probably left the state years ago. Who knows where he had wound up. At least Finn wouldn't have to deal with a face to face. His heart wouldn't be able to take something like that.  "So what else's gone wrong because I'm not here?"

"I can't list everything, but one thing sticks out in particular. You're a fireman. You have altered more lives than you will ever know. There are a few extra plots in Green-wood, is all I will say. Speaking of which..."

Finn looked up and realised they were standing outside of the big Catholic graveyard out in Queens. Before he could question how they had walked so far in such a short time someone bumped into him, would have stumbled if Finn hadn't reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Oh, sorry. You alright?" Finn asked as they both steadied themselves. 

"Yeah. Thanks." The man caught Finn's eye for a second before limping away, wrinkled hands shoved into his pockets. Finn watched him walk off, thinking of the circles under his bloodshot eyes, the scraggly grey curls plastered to his weather-beaten forehead. Hold on a second.  

"That was..." Kenobi stayed impassive, but Finn somehow understood. The blood drained from his face and he stepped back. "No."

"I'm sorry, Finn-"

Without bothering to listen Finn ran through the cemetery, slipping on ice and following the trail of Kes' footprints. He knew where he was headed, the little plot nestled underneath an oak, branches heavy with snow. Finn staggered through the grass, his thin shoes soaked through with slush and slogging as he made his way towards the tree. There should be a single grave beneath it. Just one. No more, no less. So when confronted with the two headstones nestled neatly together in the snow, Finn didn't quite know what to do with himself. 

Kes had left a sheath of roses lying on both graves, pink petals already starting to droop. The first stone, Finn recognised. Every few months Poe would come out here, leave a bouquet and pictures and have a chat with his mom, tell her about the drawing Aiden had scribbled for Finn, how Shara was learning to play piano, little things like that. Only a few weeks ago the two of them had come out here with a bunch of daisies, pictures from the latest ultrasound tucked in with the flowers.

The second grave, though. The second grave was a shock. Finn swept the snow off of the top, hesitating before reading the inscription. There was a chance that somebody else was buried here, after all. But it didn't take long for that hope to be completely snuffed out.

_Paola Shara Dameron_

_1978-1996_

_Heaven needed another angel_

"No." A sob built in Finn's chest, made it all the way up to his lips before he pushed it down, turning to Kenobi for an explanation. It didn't matter when he got there. Finn just wanted answers from him. "How..."

"Leia found him in her doorway, two months after he ran away from home. By the time they moved him to the hospital it was too late. Gangrene and frostbite." Kenobi sighed, looking down at the gravestone. "He fought the infection for quite some time. Longer than most could."

"'Course he did." Finn forced out a laugh that fell far short of sincere. How many times had he kissed the scars on Poe's knuckles, wondering about the story behind them, if they really were as serious as they looked. Well, now he knew. "Stubborn 'till the end, huh? Goddammit, Poe, why didn't you go home? Why didn't you go to the hospital? Why didn't you..."  

Finn's heart was beating fit to burst, hammering against his ribcage. It was too much to wrap his head around, standing at the grave of a husband he hadn't married, in a city where he didn't exist. If he didn't get an aneurysm from dealing with all this that would be a fucking miracle.

"I don't want to be here." Finn choked out. "I want to go home. Bring me back home." he demanded. But Kenobi had disappeared again, that son of a bitch. Finn's breath fought in his throat and he slumped against the gravestone with a groan. Snow started to swirl around him and Finn found himself wishing it would hurry up and bury him. He wanted to disappear all over again, except who knew what kind of hell he would wake up in next?

"This is a dream, right?" he croaked as he traced the letters on the gravestone. The slippery granite burned against his fingertips and he shuddered, squeezed his eyes shut. "It has to be a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream. It has to be a dream..."

  

\-----------

 

 Finn woke up to a warm washcloth covering his throbbing eyes, the sound of tinkling silverware at his side and a pounding in his head. He let out a pitiful moan and the bed dipped with a familiar weight. He stiffened when he felt a calloused hand on his bare chest, rubbing a syrupy ointment into his skin. What the hell was going on now? He started to sit up but someone shushed him, readjusted the cloth and gave him a stubbly kiss. And Finn had thought he couldn't get more confused.

"Just rest, baby. I think the kids gave you the flu. You feeling okay?" 

"Poe?" Finn croaked. He could barely believe it. He outright didn't believe it. This had to be another sick joke. Hoping that he would wake up Finn squirmed and wriggled, babbling almost incoherently. "No, no, of course I'm not okay. How can I be okay? I'm not okay. Rey's missing and the kids were never born and Poe, you're..." Finn was about to say _dead_ , then his flailing hand skimmed Poe's rounded belly and his eyes startled wide open. He pulled off the washcloth and blinked in the lamplight, trying to get his bearings.

There was a mint green crib in the corner of their messy bedroom, a picture of Shara and Aiden sitting on the bedside table beside two wedding rings and a bowl of what smelled like chicken noodle soup. The Christmas tree was peeking at him from around the bedroom door, all lit up with lights and ornaments that the whole family had spent a good two days hanging up. But strangest of all, Poe was beside him, one hand pressed to his baby bump and a concerned look on his face.

"You're..." Feeling like a ton of bricks had been lifted off of his chest Finn pressed his face into Poe's shoulder and laughed in delight. "You're _pregnant_. I can't believe that you're _pregnant_..."

"Yeah? I have been for the past six months. And two times before that." Poe screwed up his face and snorted, letting Finn pepper his belly with kisses. "Must be one helluva fever."

"It's not that. God, I just had the worst nightmare."

"Poor baby. Not fun, huh?" Finn shook his head while Poe wiped the ointment off of his hands, chewing his lower lip the way he did when something was bothering him. Aiden had picked up on that habit, too. The poor kid always had chapped lips because of it. "Hey, about earlier..."

"I was a jerk." Finn interrupted. A sheepish grin spread across Poe's face and he spooned some soup into Finn's mouth. He wasn't about to argue with that. Best let the matter drop while they had the chance.

"And I was hormonal. Not a great combo."

"It really isn't." Finn agreed. After giving Poe's tummy another pat Finn wiped his nose and looked up with his brow furrowed. "You're _sure_ you're pregnant."

"Pregnant as a man can get." Poe grunted, trying his best to heave himself back up. Finn helped him along with a playful swat to the butt. Didn't do much, but it's the thought that counts. "Real mature, sweetheart..." 

"That's why you married me." Finn snuggled down into the blankets, watching Poe waddle around the room, making an attempt to pick the laundry and toys off of the floor. After giving up on that he started to hum and went about folding the baby clothes they had bought a week before, little onesies and the like. Miniature clothing had to be Finn's favourite thing about having kids. Aside from the baby itself, of course.

"So what'd you dream about?" Poe asked. Finn shook his head and sighed, watching Poe hold up a little yellow cat t-shirt to his stomach, testing the fit.

"God, it was awful. I woke up and the apartment was empty and there was this old dude and he was like _Guess what you don't exist in this timeline_ and then I was running across town looking for someone I knew but nobody knew me and Leia said that-" Finn cut off in a hacking cough and flopped down onto the pillows. That was enough story-telling for now, apparently. "Bad. It was bad."

"Sounds bad." Poe agreed. "I'm glad you exist in this timeline, by the way. Who knows where I'd be without you." Finn opened his mouth to say something before deciding against it. Some things are probably best kept as secrets.

"I'm sure you'd be fine." 

"Maybe, but I like having you around all the same." A grin spread across Poe's face and he slingshotted a beanie at Finn's head. "Hey, have you ever watched  _It's A Wonderful Life_?"

"Never got around to it. Why?" 

"No reason."

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I just wrote an AU inside of an AU. Talk about your mind fuck.


End file.
